For those who do not know, I’ve been diagnosed with Clinical Depression. It’s genetic in my family. Meaning, my sadness wasn’t my fault, or anyones. This is a relief. Though, I don’t get off easily, or at all. My prolongedsadness IS my fault. I should have said something sooner. I should have gotten help way before. I was so worried to hurt my parents, but when I told them, they only hurt because I did. Because we’re family. Because in a lot of ways, we’re united. I’m now looking for a regular psychologist and I’m taking Prozac. They help, a lot. I would always get SO frustrated with why I just couldn’t enjoy the happy things. Why the hell I couldn’t think positively. Apparently, the chemicals to make everyone “happy” are lacking in my head, or at least at lower levels. My mom has it, along with her mom. And my grandmother and great aunt had it as well. Basically my medicine is going to control where these chemicals go, blocking off unnecessary routes. So now, those chemicals are going where they are needed. Meaning, I can enjoy the little things. My wish to laugh a carefree laugh? Granted. My wish to be able to joke around more easily? Granted. I think about who I was before. And ew. I think I would have pushed me out a window. But that’s the past. I think about the future, and how I’ll be a better version of myself. The best, even. And I stop. Who cares. How about right now? What am I going to do right now? I’ll tell you. I’m going to write a novel. A good one. I’m going to paint and use my pastels. A lot. I’m going to take a shit load of pictures. Often. I’m going to laugh. Until I have to pee. I’m going to sing. And hopefully not make anyone deaf. I’m going to swing under the stars and make wishes on every 11:11 I see. I’m going to dream, and dream big. I’m going to tumble my little heart out. The world doesn’t back off until you make it back off. So world, back the fuck off. The old me is gone.
Hello, Melissa. You is smart. You is kind. You is impo’tant. ♥

Also, I’ve made a new Tumblr. I’ll post the link shortly :)

Anonymous asked: who is your best friend ?

Nathan

Goodbye Tumblr.

I have nothing. Okay? You win. Now leave me alone.

In being so mean to people. Really? To talk so carelessly about people when you don’t know a damn thing about them. Words mean something to people. The words you say always mean something. And if you’re going to spend your life using your words to hurt or break others, then you’re not only mean, but ignorant to reality.